


Hurricane

by worrisomeme



Series: Fall [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arguing, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, M/M, Master/Slave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-17 06:38:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14827265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worrisomeme/pseuds/worrisomeme
Summary: Chris’s face immediately turns red, then white, then red again. He opens his mouth and for just a second it looks like he’s going to shout. Then he snaps it shut and takes a step back, his eyes closing briefly as he forces himself to take a deep breath.“I’m not going to argue with you Sebastian,” he says finally, quietly, and then turns and storms out of the apartment, slamming the door on his way out.Sebastian jumps at the sudden violence of the door slam, his eyes wide as his higher brain kicks into gear and he realizes what exactly he’d just done.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one is for a lovely anon on Tumblr who requested "an argument between the boys and have Sebastian panicking that Chris is tired of him and Chris has to set things straight?" This one takes place after [their vacation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12211461/chapters/27733812) but before [Chris's accident](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9497486). Hope you like it!!<3
> 
>  
> 
> P.s. this isn't really edited too much and I just use google translate for all my Romanian so please forgive any errors<3

Winter is not going down without a fight, and after that vacation Chris is right back to work, busier than ever.  After months of having Chris basically to himself, all that nice, gentle human contact and affection, it leaves Sebastian feeling emotionally raw and irritable again, feeling less like a Romanian prince and more like Rapunzel. Not to say that he’s trapped in the house or stuck there, not by Chris anyway. Chris always tells him he’s free to roam about the city of his own volition, _especially_ when Chris is at work and he’s bored.

But here’s the thing with Sebastian’s situation, he keeps reminding his master, he doesn’t exactly have any friends, not really. And Scott and Luka are in Boston and texting or calling or Skyping are nice, but they don’t get him out of the house. The thought of going out alone, especially being a slave, it scares him. He saw what can happen even out _with_ his master, talk about alone. So instead he stays lonely and bored in the apartment, picking his way through TV shows and movies and books he’s missed out on.

So after a month of being back home, it’s really starting to get to him. It’s been taking everything in him to not snap at Chris over little, unimportant things and that’s lead to a lot of tense, passive aggressive silences. Chris had ignored it at first, but now it’s starting to cause distance between them. Sebastian knows he’s doing it, pushing him away, and he’s really trying his hardest to stop. But honestly, this is the best he can do for now, because if he stops biting his tongue he’s going to start _really_ hurting Chris’s feelings, potentially in a way they’ll never come back from, and he doesn’t want that. He knows this will pass with the winter cold, so the tense silences continue.

Until, that is, the day Chris is late. It’s almost two hours passed when Chris is supposed to be home and he hasn’t even texted like he usually would to give Sebastian a head’s up. By the time Chris strolls through the door Sebastian’s started to panic a little bit and dinner is cold on the counter.

“Chris?” Seb calls when he hears the front door shut. He makes his way from where he’d been pacing, staring at his phone clutched in his hand, toward the living room.

“Hey baby,” Chris replies, totally fine, all smiles, like nothing is out of the ordinary. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Where the hell have you been?” Sebastian can’t help but snap, his knuckles white around his phone still.

Chris’s brow furrows and after weeks of tension he jumps right to defensive. “I got held up finishing up a piece at work, geez,” he replies, crossing his arms over his chest.

“ _Geez_? Vai! Cine te crezi?! Nu-mi spui că ‘ _geez_ ’!” Sebastian starts shouting, throwing his arms up in frustration. _Who do you think you are?! Don’t ‘geez’ me! Why didn’t you call me?_ he goes on, “De ce nu m-ai sunat? No text! No _nothing_! I thought you had…” He shakes his head, doesn’t want to admit he’d actually been afraid Chris would leave him, doesn’t want to admit he’d gotten that attached- that dependent. “I thought you were dead!” he shouts instead.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Chris tries again, but it doesn’t come out sounding as sincere as he means it (and Sebastian knows he means it, somewhere beneath his own fear and anger). He’s angry now too, frustrated, and it’s affecting his judgement, his filter. “I didn’t even realize what time it was Sebastian, fuck. You don’t have to jump down my throat like that. Shit happens sometimes.”

And with the mood Seb’s been in lately, he’s just looking for a fight now.

“You didn’t even realize it was _two hours_ later than you usually leave?” he asks, incredulous.

“I was really into what I was doing, there’s no windows, so no, I didn’t realize it,” Chris snipes back, “sue me. You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if you took my suggestions once in a while, left the apartment, made some friends.”

And Seb knows he’s right, logically. But he also knows how much more difficult it is than it sounds, and that it was the absolute wrong thing to say at this exact moment. Chris knows it too, if the look on his face is any indication.

“Oh, dacă timpul a fost atât de rapid pentru mine!” Sebastian snaps again as he pushes into Chris’s space. _If only time moved so fast for me!_ “But no, I get to sit here a prisoner in my cell!” He doesn’t mean it. Even as he says it, he wishes he could take it back. But he’s too angry to stop himself, to apologize. _How should I make friends?_ “Cum ar trebui să fac prieteni, Chris? There aren’t exactly _book clubs_ or _writing groups_ for _slaves!”_

Chris’s face immediately turns red, then white, then red again. He opens his mouth and for just a second it looks like he’s going to shout. Then he snaps it shut and takes a step back, his eyes closing briefly as he forces himself to take a deep breath.

“I’m not going to argue with you Sebastian,” he says finally, quietly, and then turns and storms out of the apartment, slamming the door on his way out.

Sebastian jumps at the sudden violence of the door slam, his eyes wide as his higher brain kicks into gear and he realizes what _exactly_ he’d just done.

“Fuck!” he screams, because he doesn’t know what else to do. For a moment he can’t move, his entire body tense as his thoughts race, and then he starts freaking out.

_How could you have said those things?_ he scolds himself as he paces the living room frantically. Just because he was scared didn’t give him the right to be mean or say terrible things like that. He has to apologize, he has to. He types out an apology text to Chris, and then when he doesn’t get a response sends another, and another, in every language he can.

_It’s going to be okay,_ he tries to reason with himself. Chris is probably just taking a walk to calm himself down, to give Sebastian time to calm himself down… But then why isn’t he responding to the texts?

He can’t think about that right now, nope. Nope nope nope. So to distract himself he starts cleaning up from dinner. But he can’t shut his mind up. All he can think about as he moves from cleaning the kitchen to the bedroom to scrubbing the already clean bathroom is that he fucked up, he went too far this time and Chris is done with him and he’s never coming back. He’d be back by now, wouldn’t he, if that wasn’t the case? How long has it been, anyway?

The thought echoes in his mind over and over and he hadn’t even realized he’d started crying, but now he’s slouched over the edge of the bathtub sobbing and all he can think is that Chris is never coming back to him and it’s all his fault.

He fumbles his phone out of his pocket and dials Luka’s number before he even realizes what he’s doing.

Luka answers quickly and he sounds like he’s about to greet his friend when he hears the sobbing.

“Sebastian, what’s wrong?” Luka says instead, his voice laced with fear.

“I… I f-fucked up Luka,” he manages to get out, breathless and choking. “I… fucked up… and he’s… he’s never c-co-… he’s never coming back!”

Luka shushes him gently and Sebastian can hear Scott in the background trying to figure out what’s going on. “No, no, he wouldn’t do that Sebastian. Did he say that?” Luka tries to comfort him. “I know he wouldn’t do that. What happened? Come on tesoro, take a deep breath and try to calm down, we can talk about it.”

“No Luka! I said such h-horrible things!” Sebastian continues to sob. “I didn’t mean them, but I said them anyway… I just couldn’t stop myself… Rahat! I f-finally find a… a master who treats me like a h-human being and I… I fucked it all up!”

“Oh Sebby,” Luka coos, Scott still prying for more information in the background, “I’m sure Chris knows you didn’t mean it and-“

“He left _hours_ ago Luka! And he still isn’t home!” Seb is near hysterics now as he slumps to the floor, barely propped up against the tub. “What am I going t-to do if he d-doesn’t come back?! Or if he gets rid of me?!”

Luka sighs softly, but at least Scott has finally shut up. “Sebastian, he would never get rid of you. He loves you, and I’m sure he understands,” he says. “I’m sure he’s just at the gym or something. But here, tesoro, mi amore, if you’re worried I’ll give him a call and clear things up, okay? Are you going to be okay if I hang up to do that?”

Sebastian sniffles and manages to hold a sob long enough to nod and mumble a weak, “Yeah,” before he’s a crying, shaking mess again.

“Okay honey,” Luka says and whispers something away from the mic to his husband before going on, “then I’m going to let you go and give him a call. I’ll text you or call you back when I hear something. Don’t do anything rash sweetheart.”

“Okay,” Seb manages to choke out, one hand tangled in his hair.

“We love you Sebastian, and Chris loves you. Everything will work out honey,” Luka says, and Scott shouts his own “We love you!” in the background.

“Love you too,” comes the quiet response, and then he’s alone again crying on their bathroom floor.

The panic quickly builds again as he loses himself to his thoughts. What _will_ he do if Chris gets rid of him? Oh god, he can’t end up with another one of those assholes. He can’t live like that again, he _can’t_. He’ll fight, he’ll run away, he’ll… he’ll do whatever- _whatever_ it takes… if it comes to that.

He’s a heap on the floor, body wracked with sobs when familiar footsteps come rushing through the house and into the bathroom.

“Sebastian!” Chris calls, breathless, and stops dead in the doorway. He pauses for just a second before he’s rushing forward, cooing, “Oh Sebastian…”

“I’m s-s-s-sorry Stăpân,” Sebastian whispers as Chris falls to his knees next to him and scoops him into his arms. “Îmi pare rău. I d-didn’t mean it, I didn’t…” he rambles.

Chris presses kisses to his forehead and brushes his hair back from his face as he tries to shush him, tries to comfort him with quiet “I know”s and “it’s okay”s.

“Îmi pare rău. P-please don’t g-get rid of me,” Seb sobs out, fists balling in Chris’s shirt as he hides his face in his chest.

“Hey, Sebastian,” Chris says, more firmly this time, and grips Seb’s chin in his hand lightly, tipping his head up, but Seb won’t meet his eyes. “Sebastian, I would never… Why would think…? Sebastian, I love you. _So_ much, Sebastian. _Te iubesc_. You get it?”

Slate blue finally lifts to summer sky eyes and any anger that was there earlier is gone now.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispers again meekly, sniffles, his body still trembling in Chris’s arms.

“I know you are,” Chris assures him, stealing a soft kiss from his lips.

“I didn’t mean it,” the younger man goes on, searching his master’s eyes for confirmation that he knows it, that he forgives him.

“Sebastian, I know,” he says softly, pressing their foreheads together.  “I think I’m going to start working from home more, introduce you to my work friends, maybe Scott and Luka can come visit for a while and you and Luka can go out to get you more used to it.”

“You don’t have to do all that Chris,” Sebastian insists, shaking his head a little. “I’ll be better, I’m sorry. I don’t want to burden you any more than I already do.”

“Sebastian,” Chris coos, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “you’re perfect. You don’t have to be ‘better’. You’re human, that’s all. We’re all allowed to be human sweetheart. Come on, let’s take a shower. I’m all smelly and sweaty from the gym.” He stands up, the other man still in his arms, and Sebastian’s finally calm enough to notice the clinging, sweat-damp t-shirt, his sweat-damp hair. Chris sets Seb down gently and holds a hand out to him instead. “C’mon, the warm water will make you feel better.”

Sebastian nods meekly and takes Chris’s hand, letting his master lead him to the shower at the other side of the bathroom. He’s silent as he turns on the water and helps Chris peel off his gym clothes, as he sheds himself of his own clothes and joins the older man under the warm water.

“Let me wash you,” Sebastian says meekly, almost like a question, fighting back another apology or six.

“Whatever you want baby,” Chris replies, pulling Seb close to press another kiss to his forehead. “I really scared you today, so you get whatever you want tonight.”

Sebastian bites his bottom lip and bites his tongue and instead of arguing or apologizing again like he wants to he nods and grabs Chris’s loofa and thinks he doesn’t deserve this man.

“When we’re done, I can reheat dinner,” Seb says instead of all the things he wants to say. “You’ve gotta be hungry.”

“You’re so good to me,” Chris says, taking advantage of a pause in the other man’s movements to steal a kiss. “I love you.”

Seb sighs into the kiss, something like relief though his shoulders are still tense. “I love you too,” he says and manages a small smile.

When he’s done washing the older man he steps back just enough to let him rinse off and leans against the side of the shower. He’s tired, he realizes finally. Exhausted, actually. It’s probably from all the crying, he reasons.

“You need me to get you?” Chris asks, but Sebastian just shakes his head.

“I showered earlier, I’m good,” he replies as he master saunters over to him and gently pulls him into his arms.

“You know my love isn’t conditional on you playing some part, right?” he says, swaying with him slowly and pressing a kiss to his hair. “I’m not going to just ‘get rid’ of you like you’re some… _object_. Especially not over some little fight. You’re allowed to be human, Sebastian, and the only way you’re leaving me is if it’s because you want to.”

Sebastian closes his eyes and nods as he leans his head against Chris’s chest, but he sighs softly and his shoulders are still so tense it’s starting to hurt. He hesitates for a moment, but then decides ‘fuck it’ and says, “Honestly, I’m just still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Chris’s brow furrows as his hands ghost up and down the smaller man’s back. “What do you mean?” he asks. Then, with a soft chuckle, adds, “Should I be offended?”

“No, no,” Seb insists, shaking his head a little against his master’s chest, “it’s not you, or anything you’ve done, it’s just…” He takes a deep breath, allowing himself time to choose his words more carefully. “When you get used to life and people treating you like shit, and then good things start happening, and you… the way you treat me… it’s like, my life just _isn’t_ this good, you know? It’s just not… _natural_. Even before I… back in Romania, life was _hard_ , things were _bad_. So, it’s like, somewhere deep in my chest, I can’t let go of the feeling that _something_ is going to happen, that your kindness and patience and just everything is going to run out and…”

“I’m going to end up being just like the rest of them, right?” Chris asks, pulling back just enough to be able to look at Sebastian’s face. “That this place is going to turn into another prison.”

Sebastian won’t meet his eyes, though. He nods and chews on his bottom lip and then says, “Like I said, it’s nothing you’ve done, I swear. You haven’t done anything to make me think- I just…”

“It feels like it’s inevitable.”

Sebastian nods again and despite his best efforts he feels fresh tears starting to well up. He’s not used to being this open, allowing himself to be this vulnerable. He clenches his jaw and fists against the tears – he will _not_ cry again.

“Well,” Chris says after what feels like eternity, “it sounds like I’m just going to have to keep proving it to you.” He pulls away to turn off the water and takes Seb’s hand, gently tugging him out of the shower after him.

“You shouldn’t _have to- “_

“No,” Chris interrupts him firmly, “I shouldn’t.” He grabs a plush towel and wraps a blushing, startled Sebastian in it as he goes on, “You shouldn’t have been treated so horribly that love feels unnatural and fleeting to you. But unfortunately you were, so I’m going to show you every damn day until you can finally believe me that I’m not going _anywhere_. I’m going to show you what life- what _love_ is _supposed_ to be like, until it doesn’t feel weird or scary anymore. Okay? Înţelege?”

Sebastian’s blush deepens but he laughs softly and nods, finally meeting his master’s eyes. “Da, înţelege,” he replies quietly.

“I love you Sebastian,” Chris says, taking the other man’s face in his hands and kissing him.

“I love you too,” Seb says and steals another quick kiss.


	2. Chris's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very sweet Anon over on tumblr requested I write a bonus chapter of this from Chris's POV ^_^ So here you go!<3

After they get back from vacation Chris is right back to work and busier than ever. It’s making Chris a little pouty and whiny when he’s at work, being away from Sebastian so much after so long of having all the time in the world with him, ignoring his obligations. But it’s nothing compared to what it’s been doing to his sweet Seb.

Chris has noticed the irritability, the tension in his shoulders, the clench of his jaw when he bites his tongue, the passive aggressive silences. He’d tried ignoring it at first, figuring it was just a post-vacation crash and it would work itself out. Instead it’s only getting worse. Sebastian is full-on pushing him away and while Chris would never let it, not completely, he is trying to give him some space, putting just a little distance between them. He knows he has a tendency to push things too much, too far, and he doesn’t want to do that with Seb and end up causing more harm than good, doesn’t want to push things beyond repair. So the tense silences continue.

Until, that is, the day Chris is late. God, he’s _so_ fucking late. He’d been in the studio wrapped up in a section he just could _not_ get right and by the time he even glances at the damn clock it’s almost two hours passed when he was supposed to be home. He hasn’t even texted Seb, hadn’t even realized enough time had passed that he should.

_Fuck._

He breaks about six laws on his drive home and as he rushes through the front door he can smell dinner, is _sure_ it’s sitting uneaten and cold on the counter waiting for him. Fuck.

“Chris?” Sebastian calls from the kitchen the second the door shuts behind him. He makes his way out to the living room, his phone clutched in his hand.

“Hey baby,” Chris replies, forcing a smile to his face and hoping he hasn’t done too much damage. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Where the _hell_ have you been?” Sebastian snaps, his knuckles are turning white around his phone.

And Chris can’t say he’s surprised. This has been building since they got back. He knew the tension was going to have to break eventually, as much as he’d hoped it would work itself out. He knows he should be sensitive, knows he should have called, but he’s tired and this all has been stressing him out too, so he still can’t stop it when he feels himself getting defensive.

“I got held up finishing up a piece at work,” he replies, crossing his arms over his chest, “geez.”

And that was the absolute wrong thing to say. He knows it instantly.

“ _Geez?_ ” Sebastian shouts, his voice pitched up. “Vai! Cine te crezi?! Nu-mi spui că ‘ _geez_ ’!” He throws his arms up in frustration and shit did Chris fuck up. He’s not sure exactly what his Romanian Prince is saying but he gets the gist, so he just takes it as Seb goes on, “De ce nu m-ai sunat? No text! No _nothing_! I thought you had…” He shakes his head, but Chris catches that fear in his eyes, can see the moment he puts those walls back up. “I thought you were dead!” Seb shouts instead of whatever he was originally going to say.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Chris tries again, but it still comes out sounding more hostile than he’d meant it to. He’s angry now too, frustrated, hurt, and while he knows Sebastian is right, and he’s really trying to school it, it’s affecting his tone, his filter. “I didn’t even realize what time it was Sebastian, fuck. You don’t have to jump down my throat like that. Shit happens sometimes.”

Strike two, Chris knows. And with the mood Sebastian’s been in lately, he’s just looking for a fight now.

“You didn’t even realize it was _two hours_ later than you usually leave?” he asks, incredulous.

And Chris gets it. Most people hate their jobs, they watch the clock and count down every second until they get to punch out. But he loves his job and it’s easy to lose himself in his work.

“I was really into what I was doing,” Chris justifies, maybe snaps just slightly. “There’s no windows, so no, I didn’t realize it. Sue me.” And he knows as the words are leaving his mouth that he’s just digging himself deeper but still they come anyway, “You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if you took my suggestions once in a while, left the apartment, made some friends.”

The anger drains out of him the second he sees the hurt wash over Sebastian’s face. But then the younger man is fortifying those walls and the anger is right back in place, his favorite defense mechanism.

“Oh, dacă timpul a fost atât de rapid pentru mine!” Sebastian snaps again as he pushes into Chris’s space. “But no, I get to sit here a prisoner in my cell! Cum ar trebui să fac prieteni, Chris? There aren’t exactly _book clubs_ or _writing groups_ for _slaves!”_

That hits Chris right in the gut. This place feels like a cell to him? It’s exactly what he’s always been afraid of, what he’s been trying _so_ hard to avoid. Chris feels his face turn red instantly, then the color drains from it as a lump forms in his throat, then it’s right back to red again. He opens his mouth and he’s not sure if he’s going to scream or cry, but then he snaps it shut and takes a step back. He closes his eyes and forces himself to take a deep breath.

“I’m not going to argue with you Sebastian,” he says finally, quietly, then turns and storms right back out of the apartment. He doesn’t mean to, but the door slams after him on his way out.

_How could you have said those things?_ he scolds himself as he rides the elevator back down to his car. He _has_ to get to the gym; he has to work this frustration out before he says even more that he’s going to regret. He pulls his spare gym bag out of his trunk and tosses his phone in with his change of clothes and takes off maybe a little faster than he should.

He gets to the gym and doesn’t even think to check his phone as he changes clothes as fast as he can. No matter how mad he is, he doesn’t want to stay out for long, just enough time to work out his aggression, to cool off and let Sebastian cool off so when he gets back home they can talk it out like they should have the first time. He hopes this is the end of all this, that it was the fight he needed to get this out of his system. He hopes Seb didn’t mean what he said.

More importantly, Chris is mad at himself. Maybe he should have pushed. Sometimes it makes things worse, that’s definitely true. But maybe this time it’s what was needed. If things don’t get better after this, he’s not going to just let it go anymore. He’s not going to ignore it and wait for it to go away. Some subs need that, some situations. But not Sebastian and sure as hell not this one.

Chris pushes himself hard in the gym, maybe too hard. It’s what he always does when he feels like he fucked up, when he’s mad at himself. Maybe it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism, sure, but it could be worse, too. Right? He’s already sore, so he _knows_ he’s going to feel it tomorrow.

His phone starts ringing in his locker as he goes to take a shower before he changes. He swears loudly and rushes to get the combination in the lock, but he’s not fast enough. Sure enough, it starts ringing again seconds after it had just stopped.

“Scott?” he answers, breathless, when he sees who’s calling. “What’s going on?”

“What did you fuckin’ do?” his brother asks him, sounding exasperated. Luka is swearing in Italian in the background, and his eyes go wide.

Something happened, he knows it instantly. He flings his gym bag over his shoulder and is rushing out the door, sweaty gym clothes be damned.

“I was late, I didn’t realize what time it was until it was too late. Then we got in a fight when I got home,” Chris explains quickly, hopping in the car and starting it up. “Please tell me he’s okay.”

“He’s fine, _physically_ ,” Scott says, and his tone is scolding. Chris absolutely takes off at that, is probably going even faster now than he had been coming home from work earlier. “Emotionally, he’s a mess. He called Luka just sobbing. He thinks you’re never coming back or that you’re going to kick him out, honest to god.” Luka must feel like Scott scolded him well enough, because his swearing turns into muttering in the background.

“He what?” Chris shouts, anger bubbling up. Not at Sebastian, and not at Scott, but at the fact that he clearly hasn’t done enough to show Seb how much he loves him and to prove to him that that would _never_ happen.

“You need to talk to him,” Scott says firmly. “Like, sit down and have a serious talk. Don’t spoil him with more gifts, none of that pretty bullshit.”

“I think I’m going to start working from home more,” Chris thinks aloud, interrupting his brother. “And maybe you and Luka should come visit soon, just when you get a chance. He and Luka can go out and he can show him how to adjust to doing things himself and making more of his own friends and shit.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Scott replies, covers the mic to whisper something to his husband. “I’ll check our schedules.”

Chris parks crooked and hauls his bag over his shoulder as he barrels out of the car. “I’m home,” he says. “I’m gonna let you go. I’ll text you later. Love you guys.”

The second he hears the love you too he hangs up, stuffing his phone in his pocket as he runs up the stairs at top speed. He is _not_ waiting for the elevator. He’d go out of his mind, he knows it already. He bolts through the front door and drops his bag as it slams behind him. He kicks off his shoes as he runs back to their bedroom, nearly tripping a couple times in the process. He hears Sebastian sobbing from the bathroom and the sound breaks his heart so thoroughly he never wants to leave his side again.

“Sebastian!” he calls, breathless, and stops dead in the doorway. He hesitates there for just a second, his big, clumsy self ever afraid of doing even more damage, before he’s rushing forward, cooing, “Oh, Sebastian…”

Sebastian doesn’t even meet his eyes as he drops to his knees and scoops him up in his arms. “I’m s-s-s-sorry Stăpân,” he whispers. “Îmi pare rău. I d-didn’t mean it, I didn’t…” he trails off and Chris can physically feel the ache in his chest.

Chris presses frantic kisses to his forehead and brushes his bangs back from his face over and over a he shushes him gently, trying desperately to comfort him with quiet ‘I know’s and ‘it’s okay’s.

“Îmi pare rău,” Sebastian sobs out. He balls his fists in Chris’s shirt and hides his face in his chest, muttering, “P-please don’t g-get rid of me”

And that’s more of a kick in the gut than anything he’d said earlier. Not, ‘don’t kick me out’ or ‘don’t leave me’, no, Sebastian just said ‘ _don’t get rid of me_ ’ like he was a piece of furniture or an outdated computer, a threadbare sweater. Chris knows his sub chooses his words very carefully, out of habit, out of training. It’s probably that ‘training’, too, that made that view of himself as nothing more than an object so deeply engrained. Chris hadn’t even realized until now just how subconsciously that belief is.

“Hey, Sebastian,” Chris says it more firmly this time, determined to be the Dom Sebastian needs. He grips the younger man’s chin in his hand gently and tips his head up. Still, Seb won’t meet his eyes. “Sebastian,” he goes on, “I would never… Why would you think…?” He sighs and starts over. “Sebastian, I love you. _So_ much, Sebastian. _Te iubesc_. You get it?”

Finally those beautiful summer storm cloud eyes lift to meet his and there’s no anger there like there had been earlier, the walls are starting to crumble, and all that’s left is fear.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispers again meekly, sniffles. His entire body is trembling in Chris’s arms and he wishes there was more he could do to settle his boy.

“I know you are,” Chris assures, stealing a soft kiss from his lips. He wants to apologize too, _so_ much. But he knows by now it will only rile Sebastian up more.

“I didn’t mean it,” the younger man goes on, eyes searching his own.

“Sebastian, I know,” he says softly, pressing their foreheads together gently. “I think I’m going to start working from home more, introduce you to my work friends, maybe Scott and Luka can come visit for a while and then you can Luka can go out, get you more used to it.”

“You don’t have to do all that Chris,” Sebastian insists, sounding almost panicked and shaking his head. “I’ll be better, I’m sorry. I don’t want to burden you any more than I already do.”

“Sebastian,” Chris coos, pressing a kiss to his forehead. If this boy breaks his heart any more he really thinks he might start crying, and he can’t do that right now. He has to stay strong, for Seb. “You’re perfect,” he assures him. “You don’t have to be ‘better’. You’re human, that’s all. We’re all allowed to be human sweetheart. Come on, let’s take a shower. I’m all smelly and sweaty from the gym.” He stands up, the other man still in his arms, and Seb seems to just now be noticing the sweat damp on his hair and shirt. Chris sets him down gently and holds a hand out to him instead. “C’mon, the warm water will make you feel better.”

Sebastian nods meekly and takes Chris’s hand, letting his master lead him to the shower at the other side of the bathroom. He’s silent as he turns on the water and helps Chris peel off his gym clothes despite the older man’s gentle protests. He’s silent as he strips down himself and finally joins Chris under the warm water.

“Let me wash you,” Sebastian says it meekly, almost like a question. He looks like he’s fighting back another apology or six, like he’s going to cry again or shake right apart.

“Whatever you want baby,” Chris replies evenly. He pulls the other man into his arms and presses another kiss to his forehead. “I really scared you today, so you get whatever you want tonight.”

Seb bites his bottom lip and Chris can see that he’s struggling internally, silently arguing with himself. It’s written all over his face, even as he grabs Chris’s loofa and starts soaping him up.

“When we’re done, I can reheat dinner,” he says finally, just above a whisper. “You’ve gotta be hungry.”

“You’re so good to me,” Chris says, taking advantage of a moment of stillness to steal a kiss. “I love you,” he says, tries to put in his tone how much he means it.

Sebastian sighs into the kiss, almost like relief, except his body is still so tense. “I love you too,” he says, though, and manages a small smile. That’s something, at least. A start.

When he’s done he steps back just enough so Chris can step into the water and rinse himself. He leans against the side of the shower and watches. Really, it’s more like he’s staring through him. His eyes look heavy; he looks _exhausted_.

“You need me to get you?” Chris asks, running a hand through his hair.

Sebastian shakes his head, eyes not lifting from the tile floor. “I showered earlier,” he replies quietly. “I’m good.”

Chris closes the distance between them and gently pulls him into his arms again. “You know my love isn’t conditional on you playing some part, right?” he says, swaying with him slowly and pressing a kiss to his hair. “I’m not going to just ‘get rid’ of you like you’re some… _object_. Especially not over some little fight. You’re allowed to be human, Sebastian, and the only way you’re leaving me is if it’s because you want to.”

Sebastian lets out a sigh as he closes his eyes and nods as he leans his head against his master’s chest. His shoulders are so tense it has to be hurting by now. The younger man hesitates for a moment, but then he says, “Honestly, I’m just still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Chris’s brow furrows as his hands ghost up and down the smaller man’s back. “What do you mean?” he asks, not sure quite how to take that. Then, with a soft chuckle, he adds, “Should I be offended?”

“No, no,” Seb insists, shaking his head against his chest, “it’s not you, or anything you’ve done, it’s just…” He pauses and takes a deep breath, thinking of what he wants to say or if he wants to say it at all Chris isn’t sure. “When you get used to life and people treating you like shit,” he starts, and it finally clicks in Chris’s brain, “and then good things start happening, and you… the way you treat me… it’s like, my life just _isn’t_ this good, you know? It’s just not… _natural_. Even before I… back in Romania, life was _hard_ , things were _bad_. So, it’s like, somewhere deep in my chest, I can’t let go of the feeling that _something_ is going to happen, that your kindness and patience and just everything is going to run out and…”

He’s been such an idiot. Of course Sebastian is going to feel that way. He’s been so blinded by his own good fortune, his happy family and fairly easy life, never having to really worry about money, never desperately at least, he hadn’t even noticed. God, he’s got to do better. He’s _going_ to do better.

“I’m going to end up being just like the rest of them, right?” Chris finishes his train of thought, pulling back just enough to be able to look Sebastian in the eye. “That this place is going to turn into another prison.”

Sebastian won’t meet his eyes, though. Instead he just nods and chews on his bottom lip as he stares at their feet. “Like I said, it’s nothing you’ve done, I swear. You haven’t done anything to make me think- I just…” he trails off, a hand resting on Chris’s chest.

“It feels like it’s inevitable,” Chris finishes for him again. He wishes he could wave a magic wand and make that feeling suddenly go away, but he knows that kind of thing is only possible in his Disney movies.

Sebastian nods again and Chris sees a few fresh tears rolling down his cheeks, his body shaking again.

“Well,” Chris says after a long moment of silence, “it sounds like I’m it sounds like I’m just going to have to keep proving it to you.” He pulls away to turn off the water then he takes Seb’s hand, gently tugging him out of the shower after him.

“You shouldn’t _have to- “_

“No,” Chris interrupts him firmly, “I shouldn’t.” He grabs a plush towel and wraps a blushing, startled Sebastian in it as he goes on, “You shouldn’t have been treated so horribly that love feels unnatural and fleeting to you. But unfortunately you were, so I’m going to show you every damn day until you can finally believe me that I’m not going _anywhere_. I’m going to show you what life- what _love_ is _supposed_ to be like, until it doesn’t feel weird or scary anymore. Okay? Înţelege?”

Sebastian’s blush deepens but he laughs softly and nods, finally meeting his master’s eyes. “Da, înţelege,” he replies quietly.

“I love you Sebastian,” Chris says, taking the other man’s face in his hands and kissing him.

“I love you too,” Seb says and steals another quick kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you guys liked it!<3
> 
> Kudos, comments, reblogs/asks on tumblr, etc. all mean the absolute world to me! I love you guys!<3
> 
> And, as always, you can find me on [tumblr](http://worrisomeme.tumblr.com)! if you'd like, where we can ramble about the boys or the universe or anything together or you can send me requests like this one! lol Let's be friends!<3 <3 <3


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